


UtaKane Drabbles from Hell

by orphan_account



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Crack, Drabbles, I mean there's plot if you squint, I pretty much just throw a dart at a dartboard and go "Oop guess Kaneki's topping today", M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, There aren't distinct bedroom roles, Yaoi, pointless yaoi drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:31:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3662304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no rhyme or reason.  These are all just going to somehow be UtaKane related.  I may update the tags and warnings as I add more drabbles.  Open to input/requests.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't let my beautiful tragedy die

**Author's Note:**

> In which Uta regrets Kaneki's death and has a tantrum. No really.

_Don’t let them see._

Uta’s heart unconsciously skipped a beat.

_Stay calm._

He let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

Don’t— let— them— _see_.

He grit his teeth.  Outwardly, he appeared as emotionless as usual as the other members of Pierrot— his friends, he chastised himself; they were his friends— laughed and celebrated.

The way the fingers which held the eyeball in his hand trembled ever so slightly went unnoticed by all his drunk… friends…

The way he nearly dropped it as he held it closer to his face went unnoticed.  The way his face had drained of any color it seldom had went entirely unnoticed.  As he held a deceiving grin in place, trying to look as pleased as possible by the turn of events, he tried to pretend that he wasn’t feeling the way he truly was.

He tried to fool them.  He was doing it so well.  Nobody suspected a thing about his true feelings.  

Or maybe he was just fooling himself.

As Itori babbled on and on about how much she’d liked Kaneki, and how cute the kid he was,  Uta was secretly reaching his breaking point.  

As they all laughed obnoxiously loud, and his eardrums threatened to burst from the ruckus, and his head throbbed with all the thoughts thrashing around inside his mind, he abruptly stood from his stool.  He found he’d lost his appetite, having licked at the eyeball over the past couple hours, but the more he licked it, the less he wanted it.  He dropped the eyeball on the counter, walking over to where the group had left the blood wine on the bar.

No one paid him any mind as he numbly grabbed for the bottle.

_**CRASH!!** _

He’d grabbed it by the neck, close to the lid.  The lid hadn’t even been screwed on.  Now the shards were all over the floor.  His pants and shoes felt… soggy…

Uta blinked as he stared wordlessly.  He blinked again, “Oh.”

They’d barely been paying him any mind before, but after hearing the bottle of wine shattering all over the floor, all of Pierrot was surrounding him, smothering him with questions.

"Uta, honey, are you okay?!" Itori whined as she stuffed his face into her boobs with an overbearing hug.  The others weren’t far behind.

They all kept asking questions, so many questions at once, and he couldn’t focus.  He couldn’t pinpoint.  All the the things they were saying were mashing together to make one jumbled, nonsensical run-on sentence.

Uta held his breath.

_Don’t let them see._

Itori continued to hug him.  He struggled weakly against her grip, not really trying to escape her clutches at first.  When she didn’t let him go, however, as everyone’s voices reached an awful pinnacle, Uta couldn’t take it anymore.

As the cacophony continued its crescendo, he yanked away from Itori, shoving her away.  She stumbled into one of the men of their group— he wasn’t really paying attention to who it was.

They were suffocating him.  He couldn’t breathe.  He couldn’t take it.  

Uta was just as shocked by his actions as all the others appeared to be, though he didn’t let it show on his own visage.  They regarded him with wary suspicion, scared of the possibility of him turning on them, it would appear.

Before anyone could bother speaking, he muttered a quick apology under his breath and hightailed it out of the bar.

The smell  of blood wine all over his lower half didn’t make the trek home any more bearable to him.  Somehow, he got all the way to his shop (slash home) without any repeats of his violent outburst.  It was a tiny miracle that he did, too.  He was shaking all over as he became aware that he was standing in the center of his shop.

He forgot how he got there.

His many mask projects surrounded him.  His desk with his supplies and sketches was a short walk ahead.  Everything was quiet.  Eerily so.  The lights were out, making the room all the more ominous, though it suited him just fine.

He sighed, raking thin, tattooed fingers through his hair, and tugged the hairband out.  He pocketed the hairband and sat down on the stool beside him.  Took in a deep breath— _1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_ — let that breath out slowly as possible— _1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10… 11…_

He stared at the far wall, trying to clear his mind of all thought.  Repeated the breathing exercise a couple times as he sat stock-still.  

The silence was deafening.  He’d thought he’d preferred to not be around his rambunctious cohorts, but he was starting to think otherwise when faced with this quiet, practically empty shop.

"Everything’s okay," he told himself, "I’m okay, it doesn’t mat—" — _ **SMASH**_ — “—ter.”

He stopped and gazed at what remained of the mask he’d decimated— manikin face and all, he’d smashed it to smithereens.

The mask.  His hard work.  He’d just ruined it all in a bout of childish anger.

No matter how long he stared, the mask didn’t magically fly back together.  The illogical part of his brain that thought such a thing was possible was a little disappointed.

After a few moments of staring, a small giggle bubbled up from within him.

He was breathlessly chuckling, and it escalated until he was laughing uncontrollably.  But nothing was funny.  There wasn’t a damn thing that was funny, and he was so angry even though he was laughing so much he couldn’t stop.  The harder he tried to hold in the laughter, the harder he found himself doubled over laughing.

Then it all stopped.

He was calm again.  

He walked over to his desk, and looked over his sketches.  He started to feel better as he looked over his work, trying to internally plot out how he would make some of the masks in his head.  All planning ceased when his eyes passed over an old sketch.  It was a well-loved piece, with the corners wrinkled, but no folds through the page.  

The first sketch for Kaneki’s mask.  He’d held onto it all this time, even though the masterpiece itself had long since been finished.  His vision went black.

——————————

Uta was sitting on the floor in the center of his shop.  He couldn’t remember a single thing since the point he’d found the drawing of Kaneki’s mask.

When he’d come to, the first thing he’d become aware of was the fact that literally everything in the room was trashed.  All the masks, manikins, and his favorite props lay shattered in scattered pieces spread around the store.  His desk was caved inward, splintered straight through the middle.  Some pieces of his stool were relatively close together by a hole in the far wall, while a few others had been flung clear across to the other side of the room.

It was a disaster.  Moving to stand up, he heard a muffled crinkling sound.  There was a piece of paper clutched tightly in his fist.  He unwrinkled it to find that it was the sketch that had triggered his whole blackout rampage just now.  Part of him hissed in his mind that he should just get rid of it, that it was more trouble than it was worth.  A larger part insisted that he keep it.  It was one of the few materialistic things he still had that tied him to Kaneki.

He scowled, grabbed the page by the edges, making to rip it.  He pulled until the page became taut, but then lost his resolve.  Sighed.  Uta couldn’t do it.

For all the talk that he did around the others of how everything that had happened to his benefit… there was this part of him, no matter how small, that was…

Dare he say it?

_Heartbroken._

Kaneki Ken was _gone_.

No more would the quirky artificial half-ghoul shake up the normalcy of the 20th ward.  No more talk of how the infamous “Centipede” had struck again.  No more hushed whispers from the more corrupt ghouls of how they were shaking in their boots, terrified that tomorrow they’d be next.

No more unexpected, yet pleasant visits from a confused Kaneki Ken looking for advice.

No more opportunities to swoop in and help the poor boy under the pretense of wanting to see if his mask finally suited his inner self.

No more Kaneki Ken.

Uta ground his teeth together, stuffing the drawing into his pocket.  He stood from the rubble of what once was his prized merchandise, and walked toward the back of the store, his living quarters.

He did not bother turning on the lights as he shut the door behind himself.  Merely made his way up the stairs to his bedroom.

Uta lay down in his bed, kicking off his (still soaking) pants and shoes as an afterthought.

It was a few moments before the urge to look at the drawing again arose.  He crawled over to the discarded pair of pants, digging through the pockets to find the drawing before laying back against the pillows of his bed.  

He touched the careful lines of the mask fondly.  It was his greatest creation— the mask.  He’d been sure it was.  It had been simple, yet perfect in its simplicity.

Now he’d never see the finished piece, or that bright young face that donned it ever again.

He sighed, his frown growing deeper.  This feeling was unlike him.  It made him feel ill, sick to his stomach.

What was this feeling called again?  He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like it.  It made him feel awful, and it made him feel like nothing was worth doing anymore.  He just wanted to lay in his bed, staring at this single memento, and maybe just sleep forever.

Maybe if he slept, he’d wake up and find that the strange, unexpected half-ghoul was still alive and causing beautiful disorder everywhere.  That this had all been some cruel nightmare created by his own mind.

"You can’t be dead…" he said to the drawing, "Who’s going to entertain me now?"

Kaneki Ken was the most interesting thing he’d ever encountered.  Without Kaneki Ken, Uta felt… empty…

 

 


	2. Cruel?  Yes.  Rapist?  No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kaneki thinks Uta's just a little bit worse than he actually is and Uta takes offense. Also, Yomo makes an appearance. Uta's a goofy drunk. That is all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What am I even supposed to say about this? I deserve to be interred. Hahahaha.

The day that Kaneki realized half his life was a lie was a sad day indeed. The day he discovered the man he viewed as—  _surprisingly—_ the nicest guy he'd ever met turned out to be possibly one of his greatest enemies… was a day that he still wished hadn't happened. Ever since that day, he'd receded deep within himself, lost in his denial of the waking world.

He didn't believe it. He didn't  _want_  to believe it.

**Uta— the mastermind behind it all.**

Not just someone who was tricked. Not just someone who was forced into hurting him. Not just someone who simply had a small hand in the cause.

The main cause— the one who orchestrated the whole damn thing, and then watched with carefully masked elation as he slowly fell apart, piece by piece.

No way. There was just  _no way_  it could be true. What had happened to what he said about needing to blend in? What had happened to his talk about wanting to live in peace? What of what he'd said about loving humans?

Had it all been a clever ruse, then?

Then it hit him… it had. The signs were so clear. Even while Uta was wearing a mask, he'd dropped tiny little hints here and there as to his true intentions for anyone who cares to actually pay attention.

But too fooled was he, too enamored by that pretty illusion, and the delusion of there being a ghoul with a kind heart in the 4th ward, of all places. Had their friendship all been a lie, as well…?

_**KNOCK, KNOCK.** _

"… I'd tell you to go away, but you're going to come in anyway," Kaneki muttered.

No sooner than he'd finished speaking, the door opened and in walked the mastermind himself, his face emotionless.

"Come now, you're still mad, Kaneki?"

"Kaneki- _san_ ," he corrected with a growl.

Uta came over to sit at the foot of the bed Kaneki was currently laying on, "Kaneki, don't be so difficult. We're friends, right?"

"This— is  _ **not—**_  friendship," he glowered at the ghoul, yanking at the chains that bound either of his wrists to the bottom of the posts on either side of the headboard. There was a sharp rattle and clink of the chains to punctuate his words.

Uta chuckled, "Ahh, Kaneki, if looks could kill…"

"And you're lucky they can't, you backstabbing, two-faced bastard."

The ghoul leaned forward, tapping Kaneki's nose with a forefinger, "You wound me."

"It's but a fraction of what you've done, and you know it."

"… Don't I?"

Uta's red eyes glowed with a sick amusement, much akin to that of a cat watching a mouse struggle beneath its paw. This was all some twisted game of his, and he was dragging it out for all it was worth. He knew exactly what Kaneki was talking about, but he was playing dumb to get a reaction that he would deem amusing. Not so amusing for Kaneki.

The half-ghoul pursed his lips. If it was a reaction the man desired, he'd simply not deign to allow him the satisfaction of receiving one.

Red eyes flashed for a split second. Some emotion he didn't recognize, and it was gone before he could decipher it.

"I don't see why you can't find it in yourself to trust me," Uta shrugged, "I've done nothing but help you. I've given you the power to defend yourself—" — _a reference to the fact that he instigated the accident with Rize_ — "—I've given you a means of protection—" — _the mask_ — "—saved your life—" — _but what about all the torture he endured from Yamori?!_ — "I helped you when you came to me, asking for answers—" — _rather, he'd mostly only told him to go ask Yomo, who then told him to go ask Yoshimura_ — "— and yet, somehow,  _I'm_  the bad guy…! Show some compassion, Kaneki."

"You didn't do a damn thing to help me," he snapped, "if it weren't for you— if it weren't for you, then Tsukiyama…"

"Oh, him?" Uta was examining his black nails idly. "He was a burden. A pest. You should be thankful."

"What you did wasn't human."

Before he'd even finished speaking the sentence, he found himself nose to nose with Uta, a hand against his throat. There wasn't any pressure behind it, but somehow, the fact that Uta was still so gentle even now was terrifying— the extent of his restraint was  _terrifying_.

"Ah, but you forget, my dear Kaneki…" he whispered as he leaned in against the half-ghoul's ear, "I'm  _not_ human… and neither are you. You would do well to remember that."

Kaneki wasn't sure whether the shiver that tickled his spine was from fear, or possibly… pleasure. It sickened him to think that he could gain any amount of pleasure, no matter how subtle, from such a precarious situation.

He growled at Uta, a deep-set malice in his eyes. Not malice for Uta, but for what Uta stood for. Even now, he couldn't find it in himself to hate the ghoul himself.

Uta coughed, a little blood leaking from his lips as he looked down, "That wasn't very nice."

Two of the tendrils of Kaneki's kagune were deeply submerged in Uta's gut, having shot out and attacked of their own volition.

"…Oh," Kaneki murmured, staring down at the two appendages.

Neither of Uta nor Kaneki moved.

"I… I'm sorry…" Kaneki said before he was even aware that he had spoken. He blinked at the sound of his own words, surprised.

"It's fine. It doesn't hurt," Uta said.

There was no way it couldn't hurt. The ghoul had to have an extremely high pain threshold to not feel pain from such wounds. That, or he couldn't feel pain at all. Then again, that could explain the extensive amount of tattoos and piercings.

The hand that had just been at his throat was now softly caressing his cheek, "You're worried about me?"

Kaneki gulped, "I… I didn't mean to say that."

"Oh? You didn't, did you…?" there was a slight upward twitch at one corner of his lips. "I beg to differ."

"Beg all you want, but the truth is I don't give a damn about you."

_**Liar.** _

Uta stroked his hand up the length of one of the tendrils of Kaneki's kagune, still protruding from his abdomen, "Is that so…?"

Kaneki shuddered, " _Quit that_."

It actually felt  _good_.

"Quit? What?" he asked, feigning innocence. He looked Kaneki directly in the eye as he stroked both the tendrils, "… Oops," he murmured, voice oozing with sarcasm, "my bad."

"So it's finally come to this? You're going to force yourself on me? I should have known."

He hadn't pictured Uta as the type. Even when he found out Uta's true nature, he thought something like this was beneath him.

There was a slam as Uta's hands hit the headboard on either side of Kaneki's face. Though Uta's face was still emotionless, the way his eyes darkened denoted a certain unexpected emotion.

He was so very still as he stared into Kaneki's eyes for a short eternity, then he spoke, "… Murderer… deceiver… backstabber… two-faced… evil… Call me what you will, but a rapist I am not. That is the one thing I will not permit you to call me."

Uta leaned back, grabbing hold of Kaneki's kagune and forcefully yanking it out of his gut. He didn't even wait for the two gaping holes to seal up before he got up and left the room. The quiet click of the door closing was more unsettling than any slammed door he had ever heard.

Kaneki looked down at the blood that now soaked the comforter. He was still trying to process what had just happened.

It seemed Uta wasn't the type to do that after all.

However, in the silence of this bedroom, left to the company of nothing more than his own thoughts, Kaneki found himself very conflicted. Uta's actions had actually gotten him excited.

He found himself nearly wishing he hadn't spoken up at all. If he hadn't, at least Uta would have relieved him, considering he couldn't reach his own dick right now.

Kaneki stared at it miserably. Though he would never admit it to anyone… ever… he screamed.

_"This… is not…_ _**fair** _ _…!"_

—

**Yomo's Perspective**

—

Yomo had a feeling that something odd was about to happen. He didn't know why, but the feeling just suddenly struck him, and wouldn't go away. Just as he was contemplating this, there was the jingle of keys from outside his door, followed by the sound of it opening, and then loudly slamming shut.

There was only one person who had a key to his home… and that person  _never_  slammed doors.

Yomo sighed in irritation as two well-toned arms slid slowly around his waist from behind, and a firm chest pressed fully against his back. He rolled his eyes, swirling his coffee idly as he watched the black liquid swish around in the cup.

"Hello, Uta…"

"Yomoooo," Uta moaned in a whiny, yet fairly quiet voice, "I'm having such a bad day…!"

"Are you drunk?" he asked in a tone that sounded more like a statement than a question.

"No, I'm Uta," though he was very obviously intoxicated, the sarcasm was also clear.

"Uta."

"Yessss… I'm drunk," Uta admitted with a nearly undetectable slur as he spoke, "but that's not important right now!"

"Tell me about it," Yomo grumbled, rolling his eyes again and looking away.

"Oh, well, if you insist—" Yomo groaned. "—so, things were going great with Kaneki, right? And then…"

Yomo only half listened as Uta went into a big, long recount of the events of the day. He tuned back in when he heard, "—a  _rapist_! Can you believe it?! He thinks I'd sink so low—!"

"Well, you kind of did make yourself out to be a bad guy in front of him," Yomo interjected. "What did you expect?"

"Yeah, but, that was all to protect him! He just doesn't know it. I love him. I really do. I wish he could see that—"

"Then tell  **him**. Why are you telling  _ **me**_? Go prove it to him that you do care about him," Yomo snapped. He was at his wit's end with his fellow ghoul coming to him and using him as an emotional sponge whenever things weren't going right with Kaneki, and the fact that Uta was hammered didn't help.

"You don't understand, though," Uta muttered, "it's really not that simple."

"Oh? And why's that?" Yomo asked.

"Well, he hates me right now, and he's so angry! I think he won't want to listen. Maybe you should help me."

"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?"

"Yeah, but saying it to you is different from saying it to him," Uta complained, "you actually want to listen to me."

"Not really…"

"What? Did I make you mad too?!"

"…" Yomo didn't respond.

"Yomoooo!"

"Just go try telling him. You won't know how he'll respond unless you try it. You can come back and ask me for help again if it doesn't work. Now shoo, get out of my hair— your breath stinks."

—

**Uta's Perspective**

—

It wasn't until a few hours later that he finally got around to going home. He wanted to clear his mind before he tried confronting Kaneki again.

When he opened the door to the bedroom only to find the half-ghoul simultaneously tugging at his restraints and bending his knee in an awkward angle— and Uta realized this was in an attempt to give himself some form of sexual gratification— he couldn't help but snort at the sight. It would seem the boy was too focused on his own sexual frustration to have noticed Uta entered the room.

"It would take you hours to get it that way, even if you did manage to reach it with your foot," Uta commented from the doorway.

Kaneki's eyes snapped from his arousal up toward Uta, his ghoul eye activated, "Uta," he breathed out huskily, ending it off with a drawn-out moan.

"Need some help?" he asked, not able to hold back the hint of a triumphant smirk on his lips.

Somehow, Kaneki found it in himself to glare at Uta, though it was a half-hearted one, "I… I don't…" Kaneki started to mutter, but then trailed off. He stared at Uta for a moment longer before looking back down at himself, painfully aroused, "… Yes…"

Uta said nothing, but got on the bed and crawled toward Kaneki. He moved as slowly as possible, not wanting Kaneki to feel as if he had too much control over him. He wanted Kaneki to remember that he'd give the boy gratification when, and only when, he was ready to grant him it.

The half-ghoul moaned pitifully, raising his hips a little as he watched Uta approach with blatant impatience. He furrowed his brows at Uta, "You tease."

Uta's eyes lit up with excitement an anticipation, though he kept his expression carefully masked. He crawled atop Kaneki's legs and sat on his thighs, just above his knees, placing his hands on the half-ghoul's hips with such a gentle touch that he may as well have not even touched him at all. Kaneki was right— he  _was_  a tease. He was very much a tease.

"Coincidentally, that word rhymes with the magic word you're going to have to say if you want me to go any further," Uta leaned over Kaneki, looking him in the eyes, "you know the word."

"Ugh… you've got to be kidding me."

"I'm really not," Uta chuckled, warm breath wafting over Kaneki's face. The half-ghoul's nose twitched.

His kagune shot out, wrapping around Uta's waist and reigning him in closer. Uta felt a sharp pain in his bottom lip as Kaneki bit it hard, and sucked on it. He hadn't expected such a direct attack, or for Kaneki to use his kagune in such a way. Still, it was not unwanted, and Uta allowed him the advantage in the kiss, leaning in more fully and tilting his head a little.

When Kaneki's kagune loosened enough for Uta to manage to pull away, Uta saw his own blood on the half-ghoul's lips— a somehow erotic sight that made him twitch to life.

"Please," Kaneki whispered breathlessly.

Uta was surprised to hear him actually give in to his demands, but also quite pleased at the revelation. He let Kaneki see only a small fraction of the amount of emotion he truly felt about it.

He was already tugging Kaneki's pants down, "With pleasure."

He kissed Kaneki, just beneath his belly button, then again on his scar, and at the sharp angles of either of his hips. The boy groaned, and his kagune tightened around Uta's waist again, as if egging him to hurry up.

Uta chuckled, tugging down the hem of his underwear with his teeth, eliciting a small gasp from the now pants-less and boxer-less half-ghoul. He hovered over Kaneki's arousal, dripping with pre-cum already, gave it a small lick. He stopped and looked up at the boy, curious to see what expression he was making.

He wasn't disappointed by the sight he was greeted with.

Kaneki's cheeks were reddened considerably, and he was biting at his bottom lip, eyes dead set on the teasing ghoul.

"Uta…"

He smirked, "Patience."

Kaneki's kagune loosened and tightened repeatedly, almost as if throbbing in anticipation. Uta licked from the base to the tip, and was rewarded with a quiet moan.

The kagune tightened considerably, "Ahh…!"

Uta licked and sucked at the tip for a few seconds before, to Kaneki's chagrined dismay, he pulled back. He could feel his kagune trying to force him back down already.

He looked up again, into mismatched, half-lidded hazy eyes.

"Why'd you stop?" Kaneki panted, pouting.

Uta couldn't help but notice how cute and plump Kaneki's lips were. He nuzzled his nose against Kaneki's, then kissed him deeply. While Kaneki was distracted by the kiss, Uta was tugging his own pants off. Before the half-ghoul had time to register what was going on, Uta was already holding them both in one hand.

"What are you—" Uta gave a stroke, biting his lip as he felt the much needed friction. Kaneki gasped and moaned out, voice raising in pitch, "… Ah…!"

Kaneki yanked at the chains that still bound his wrists. He clawed at the sheets. He tossed his head to the side, enraptured by the sudden unrelenting pleasure Uta was dishing out.

Watching Kaneki react in such tantalizing ways was making him realize this wasn't enough. He  _needed_ more.

He pressed three of his fingers to Kaneki's lips, telling him to suck them. The half-ghoul was confused, but too far gone to really question it. Uta gasped a sharp intake of breath when Kaneki first took his fingers into his mouth. Something about the way his tongue caressed Uta's fingers was doing naughty things to his mind and arousal, sending him closer and closer to the edge.

He took his fingers back as he stopped pumping them both. The haze in Kaneki's eyes cleared up a little and he fixed Uta with a questioning gaze.

"Patience, pet," Uta murmured. He reached back behind himself, pressing his middle finger into his own entrance. The small pain as he did made him hiss under his breath.

Kaneki tugged at his restraints again. He tried to pull Uta closer with his kagune, but Uta used his free hand to brace himself against Kaneki's chest.

" _Patience_ ," he growled. He took in a deep breath, then let it out for a few long seconds, allowing himself to relax. Kaneki was getting more and more impatient as Uta stretched himself out, and his throbbing kagune sliding against Uta's body was making it hard to focus.

When Uta was finally satisfied that he'd stretched himself out as well as he'd be able, he pulled out his fingers and braced himself on the bed. Kaneki continued to watch him curiously, stock-still as he waited to see what Uta was doing.

He raised himself up above Kaneki. The half-ghoul's eyes were now trained downward. Anticipating. They both knew what was coming.

As he lowered down, Kaneki gasped, eyes wide as he threw his head back, and when Uta had fully taken it all in, he sat still.

It didn't take long for the half-ghoul too get tired of waiting. He groaned and gave a small thrust upward, too which Uta grit his teeth.

He grabbed hold of Kaneki's hips and pinned them to the bed, staring intently into his eyes. Kaneki's kagune continued to roughly caress Uta's body. It helped distract him from the initial discomfort.

Kaneki moaned, brows furrowed, "Move… please,  _move_ …"

"Since you asked so nicely…"

Uta raised his hips until just the tip of Kaneki's arousal was still in, and then he thrust downward. Kaneki's response was immediate, as every downward thrust brought a wanton moan from his lips. With the initial discomfort all but gone, the pleasure was becoming overwhelming, and coupled with the sounds coming from the half-ghoul's sinful lips, he knew he wouldn't last long.

And as Kaneki's moans gradually raised in pitch more and more, he knew both of them were close— if not from the sounds, then by the way Kaneki's legs and kagune were uncontrollably quivering.

Uta reached down and pumped himself in time with the thrusts. He was so close.

Kaneki's panting suddenly grew much louder and faster, "U-Uta…! I… I'm gonna—"

His words sent Uta over the edge. He couldn't tell if he came first, or if Kaneki did, or if they did at the same time. It was all just complete bliss.

As he started to come down from his high, he collapsed atop Kaneki. Both of them were still panting raggedly. Kaneki's kagune, which hadn't receded yet, was still loosely wrapped around Uta.

For a while, they both lay there in silence.

When Uta had caught his breath and regained a little strength, he crawled out from Kaneki's embrace. Kaneki started to speak, as if intending to ask what Uta was doing when Uta started digging around in a drawer in the bedside table. He procured a key.

The white-haired half-ghoul watched with wide eyes, "You're going to let me go?"

Uta nodded quietly, as he unlocked one of the restraints. Kaneki shook out the hand while Uta was releasing the other one.

The moment he'd unlocked the restraint, he found himself pinned by his throat on his back. He watched the half-ghoul with tired eyes.

"It was never my intention to upset you."

Mismatched eyes glowered venomously, "Then why do it in the first place?!"

"I didn't know."

"But Tsukiyama is dead because of you…!"

The tattooed ghoul looked away, "Actually, if it makes you feel better, he's still alive."

Kaneki blinked, his grip loosening, "He… he is?"

Uta exasperatedly nodded.

"How come you didn't tell me sooner?" his grip tightened to punctuate the demand.

"I was jealous."

Kaneki balked at this. No doubt, he hadn't expected such a simple response. Uta could tell that he was getting through to the half-ghoul.

"I really like you," he explained, "the way I express my love is different from most, but I do like you."

With those words, he'd gotten Kaneki to completely release his stranglehold. Though his kagune was still thrashing wildly, denoting his racing internal thoughts.

"You like me?"

Uta looked away, convinced he would not be able to keep his emotionless expression if he continued to look at that face of his, "Of course I do."

He was surprised when he felt arms wrap around his waist. He watched as Kaneki curled up beside him, hugging him, and didn't quite believe his own eyes.

"Maybe you're not completely evil."

"That's probably the closest thing to an I love you that I'll ever get from you. I'll take it," Uta smirked playfully.

Kaneki's response was to drape a hand over Uta's mouth as he nuzzled the man's throat, "Hush. I'm sleepy."


	3. Generic insane asylum AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Experiencing some slight writer's block with my other story and all I could think about was insane asylums for some reason... so yeah, this weird skit happened. May or may not get a continuation, depending on responses.
> 
> So basically, the idea for this AU is that Kaneki is a little batshit crazy from some childhood trauma, and it has caused his personality to split somewhat (not necessarily unlike what actually happens in the manga). Unfortunately, despite the fact that dissociative identity disorder is a coping method, it didn't help him cope so well and he ended up being carted off to an asylum after doctors practically revived him.
> 
> Enter Uta, who basically no one knows anything about. My idea for Uta is that he's got an antisocial personality disorder (that's your psychopathy and sociopathy and such), but he's so uncooperative that doctors haven't been able to make much of a proper diagnosis past the fact that he's obviously unable to function in society. To be honest, I haven't truly decided yet whether he's a sociopath or a psychopath. 
> 
> I say this because psychopaths are incapable of experiencing emotion (ie: love), whereas sociopaths can but they have a hard time forming bonds with people. I really want to make him a sociopath, but the problem with that is that sociopaths tend to be prone to lots of emotional outbursts, like fits of rage, and that doesn't exactly sound like Uta (but other than that it could be fairly accurate... I don't know).
> 
> Holy hell. Sorry for the long winded intro. I'll shut up now.

The walls… were white. The floors… also white. The bench he was currently sitting on was also mostly white, save for the chrome legs that supported it. Whenever he glanced up cautiously from beneath his white bangs, he would catch glimpses of the inside of the receptionist's office (also white, down to the receptionist lady's uniform).

He sighed, rolling his eyes before going back to staring blankly at the boring, oddly immaculate white floors. An insane asylum. They'd sent him to an  _insane asylum_. One thing he never understood about these stupid places was how they always had all the same pale (if not just plain white) colors of everything. It was so monotonous and maddening that if patients weren't insane before they got there, they soon  _would_ be.

Sure, he wasn't a psychology major or anything like that, but it didn't take a genius to know that seeing nothing but white all the time was depressing and unnerving.

Why couldn't they make things a louder color, like a nice bright red, or a forest green? Or blue. Even gray was better than freaking white.

The waiting room made him antsy. There were many other people other than him in there, all waiting for the time they would inevitably be called up to the desk and admitted as an in-patient.

Ironically, this wasn't even the first time that he was being put in an asylum. Although it was his first time as an adult. Before, he'd been a minor, and his aunt wouldn't stand to keep him there for longer than a week (she claimed that keeping him there too long would make the rest of his remaining family look bad… her good image in front of others was all she ever cared about).

Now however he was an adult, and his aunt had absolutely no say on what was or wasn't good for him, or anything to do with his treatment for that matter. Nor could she decide the duration of his stay. Perhaps if it weren't for the fact that  _he_ had no say either, then he'd be more amused at his aunt's begrudging expense.

That was just it. He didn't have a say. None whatsoever. As he was considered "legally insane" or something or another, he could not claim he didn't need (nor want) treatment. He was stripped of his rights until he was considered sane. That was assuming that he would ever be considered sane again.

So to sum things up, this royally sucked.

That would teach him not to jump off bridges.

One bridge in particular, as it was. One that happened to be over a rather large and deep river. During a thunderstorm. Doctors claimed it was a miracle he was even still alive. He however saw it as a curse.

"Kaneki Ken."

He looked up at the woman in white who'd called his name. It would seem it was his time.

"If you would follow me, please."

It wasn't as if he had anything better to do. If he left or resisted, they'd just drag him right back in (he should know; he tried).

He was led to the third door on the right at the end of a short hallway. The woman held the door open for him, gesturing for him to enter. When he walked in, the door shut behind him with a high whine and a heavy  _thunk_.

Despite himself, he flinched at the sound. It hurt his ears.

"Kaneki Ken, I presume?"

The man behind the desk was average in appearance, no notable attributes. He looked fairly old, maybe in his forties or so. He pointed the cap of his fountain pen toward a cushioned seat in front of the desk. Kaneki didn't really want to, but he eventually gave in and sat in the seat. It was comfortable, he duly noted.

He merely nodded to affirm the man's question. The man then scribbled down something on a clipboard resting in his lap, then typing something on a laptop off to his side.

Once he was done typing, he looked back to Kaneki. Kaneki didn't like the way he was being looked at. He felt like he was under a microscope, being examined and calculated down to the last molecule.

"I'm Dr. Kanou. I'll be your doctor here during your stay. I just need you to answer a few questions, confirm a few things and such," the man informed him, pausing momentarily, "is that alright?"

Kaneki nodded once more. As if he had a choice. If he was lucky, he may be able to breeze through this without even having to talk. He didn't like talking to shrinks. Give them an inch, and they'd get full of themselves and take a mile. He'd gotten it all down to a science. They almost never cared about their patients. All they really cared about was how fat their wallets were at the end of the day. He'd be surprised if they could even properly diagnose him.

"You are nineteen this year?" the man asked, looking up to see Kaneki nodding. He jotted something down on his clipboard. "Do you know where you are?"

Kaneki nodded. The man sighed.

"Then tell me, where are you?"

The man clearly expected Kaneki to speak. Fuck that.

The man mussed his hair, sighing once more before rubbing his forehead with two fingers of the hand that held his fountain pen, "I know you don't like this. You're going to have to be cooperative and give me answers. The less answers you give, the worse I have to assume your case is, and the worse the conditions you'll be getting as an in-patient. Do you want that, Kaneki-san?"

Kaneki shook his head, finally conceding, "No."

"Then tell me where you think we are."

Kaneki raised a brow at the order, "An insane asylum."

More scribbling with that pen of his, "The staff here would prefer if you call the place Anteiku, not an 'insane asylum'. It sounds more humane."

 _Don't patronize me._ "I'm just calling it what it is."

At that comment, the man started to write something else. Kaneki could only imagine. Probably something along the lines of 'cheeky little smartass keeps calling the place an insane asylum'.

"Do you know  _why_ you're here?"

Kaneki shrugged, "Sightseeing?"

 _Scribble, scribble_. "I need you to be serious, Kaneki-san."

"Who said I wasn't?" he asked, keeping up the sarcasm.

The man didn't even bat an eye or hesitate. He probably didn't even pay attention to the taunts. He turned back to his laptop, scrolling a little, eyes scanning the screen, "It says here that you're diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder."

"Multiple personality."

"Yes, well, we don't call it that anymore. The proper term is dissociative identity disorder now," he replied.

"Whatever."

"So," the man said, entirely unfazed, "tell me about yourself. Anything you'd like to say? Anything at all?"

"... Not really…" Kaneki said, purposely waiting for a while to answer, just to annoy the man. He could tell he was starting to get under his skin, if only a little.

"Okay," the man ground out, turning back to the laptop, "Records from one of your previous counselors say that you have two distinct personalities; Shiro and Kuro. Is that correct?"

"The doctor wrote it, so it  _must_ be true," Kaneki's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

The man was writing something down on his clipboard again, "Which personality am I speaking to right now?"

"Hey, Doc, have you ever heard of a little place called Nunya?" Kaneki asked abruptly.

The man seemed a little put off by the random question, "... Nunya?"

"Yeah, Nunya business."

The man's ears were turning red, and somehow Kaneki knew that was a sign that he was getting significantly annoyed with him. Good. Stupid snooping psychologist, digging around where his nose didn't belong.

"Well, this is clearly getting nowhere. You can go back to the waiting room until your name is called again."

Kaneki mock saluted as he stood up, quickly taking his leave.

It felt like another half hour or so before his name was called again. The same lady from before was waiting for him to get up and follow her.

This time, she took him through a door on the left in that short hallway, this way leading to a much more open hallway. A right turn brought them to a small room with nothing but a bench pushed all the way to the left wall, a rickety little table to the right, and a closet behind that. Kaneki took this all in with a half-lidded, unimpressed expression.

"Have a seat on that bench there," the woman pointed, "a male staff member will be here shortly to do a mandatory strip check."

Kaneki nodded, sitting on the bench. Just as the lady said, a man in pale blue scrubs entered the room a couple minutes later. He closed the door behind himself, dropping a manilla folder on the table. The folder was filled with a stack of papers, which Kaneki assumed were the asylum's files on him.

"Hi, I'm Banjou, a nurse here at Anteiku. I'm going to have to do a quick strip search on you, so if you could please take your clothes off… ah, but you can leave your underwear on if you'd like. Don't worry, it's completely harmless, and I'll just be checking you for any injuries, scars, that sort of thing."

Kaneki complied, slipping out of the hospital gown he wore, for that was the only thing he was wearing other than his underwear. He'd been transferred via ambulance to the asylum straight from the hospital after his recovery. Thusly, he'd not been given the luxury of real clothing.

Banjou looked him over, writing down a few things on a chart inside the manilla folder. Once done with that, he slipped the chart back inside and pocketed his pen, turning back toward Kaneki.

"Okay, all done. You can put the gown back on if you'd like," he said, picking up the folder. Kaneki quickly put the gown back on, following Banjou as he exited the room, beckoning for him to come with him. Banjou guided him up a stairway, glancing back at him occasionally, "It would seem your guardian hasn't sent you any necessities or clothes. Anteiku can provide you with some basics. Would you like that?"

Kaneki nodded, surprised by the offer.

He decided that he liked this Banjou guy. The man seemed a little different from the other staff. Despite the fact he was in a doctor type position, he didn't wear the same plastic smile as a lot of the others, and he spoke to Kaneki in a way that didn't sound so condescending. It felt like he was actually being treated like a human being for the first time here. It was like Banjou was genuinely trying to be nice to him.

At the top of the stairs was another short hall, which they walked through to a set of double doors with a small number pad. After quickly typing in a number combination that Kaneki was only barely able to catch (and memorized for future reference), Banjou opened one of the doors. He held it open for Kaneki to go inside.

"This is the E Ward. It's where you'll be staying from now on," Banjou explained as he guided Kaneki with a brisk pace past all the many doors, "you're really lucky, let me tell you. There was only one more space open in E, and just between you and me, this is the best section in all of Anteiku. They almost put you in C Ward, and you really don't wanna be in there."

"I'll take your word for it," Kaneki said softly. When Banjou blinked in surprise, stopping to stare at him, it took Kaneki a moment to realize it was the first time he'd spoken to the man. "... I'm not mute. Shocking, I know."

Banjou was stunned for a few seconds longer, which was awkward, but then he broke out into a loud bout of laughter, clapping Kaneki on the shoulder, "So you're not, so you're not. You're alright, Kaneki-san, you're a funny guy."

"Kaneki," he said, then elaborating when Banjou looked confused, "you can just call me Kaneki. I don't mind."

"Alright, Kaneki it is," Banjou said with a grin, "now then, here's where your room will be. It's a single bedroom. Some of the rooms are singles, some are doubles. You lucked out again and get a room all to yourself here. Sound good to you?"

Kaneki gave the nurse a small smile, simply agreeing with him. He peered inside the room, looking around curiously. It was plain. He supposed he should have expected as much. There was just a short bed, very low to the ground, so low that it only came up to his knees, and a slightly taller bedside table by it. There was a dresser in the far corner of the room, but Kaneki suspected it was empty, seeing as his aunt hadn't dropped off any of his personal belongings (not that he had many to begin with). The bed was already made with crisp white sheets, a thin white blanket, and flat looking pillows that honestly made him think rocks would look more inviting.

Banjou pulled him further inside, turning him around, "As you can see, this here," he said, pulling open a door that had been blocked from his view when they'd been in the entrance, "is a bathroom. We're actually supposed to keep them locked at all times and you're supposed to come ask a staff member to unlock it for you when you want to use it… but… if you won't tell, I won't. Yeah?" Banjou winked at him.

Kaneki smiled, chuckling lightly at the nurse's antics, "Our little secret."

Banjou laughed, "Awesome. Just don't tell any of the others that you're getting special treatment, or we're never going to hear the end of that one."

Closing the bathroom door, Banjou then guided Kaneki out of his new bedroom and farther down the hallway. They briefly passed through a larger room, which Banjou explained was the break room as they went. Immediately after that was another receptionist desk. Nobody was currently inside.

Banjou took him past the desk and the half door that led inside said area, over to a set of folding doors. He pulled open the doors, muttering to himself all the while.

"Hmm… should be some spare clothes for you here somewhere… ah! Found them," he said, turning back to Kaneki with a plain t-shirt and sweatpants in hand. "Sorry they're so boring looking. If you give me a little time, I may be able to scrounge up some more colorful things for you sometime tomorrow."

"You're too kind," Kaneki accepted the offered clothing. Banjou brought him to another door just opposite the desk and closet, opening the door to reveal that it was yet another bathroom.

"This is another bathroom. The staff call it the 'community' bathroom, and it's where everybody is expected to go when it's not shower time. You can put your new clothes on here."

Banjou closed the door behind Kaneki, allowing him to have some privacy. The community bathroom wasn't very large either. It only consisted of a small sink and a toilet. There was a mirror over the sink, but for some reason it was designed in such a way that his reflection in it was very blurry. He couldn't make out any distinct features about himself in the mirror other than the fact his hair was white or that his eyes were gray.

Done with his assessment of the boring bathroom, he slipped out of the hospital gown and got into the clothes he'd been given. The t-shirt was very baggy, and the waistband of the sweatpants was a few sizes too big, but the pants at least had a drawstring.

Satisfied that he was more modestly covered, Kaneki opened the door back up.

"Oh, all finished?" Banjou asked, looking back at him from whatever it was he was doing with the stuff in the closet.

Kaneki gave a shy little nod, "... Yeah… what do I do with…?" he held up the hospital gown he'd been wearing before.

"You can give me that," the nurse replied, taking it off his hands, "I'll just throw this in the trash. I'm sure you won't be wanting to see it again anytime soon, right?" tossing it off into a wastebin, he then pulled out a container of various objects from the closet. Kaneki figured that was what he'd been messing with when he'd come out of the bathroom. "I gathered up some stuff to start you off while you're staying here. Just a toothbrush and toothpaste, some soaps, deodorant, hairbrush. The basics. Again, I can fetch better stuff later if you want, but this should hold you over for now."

"This is great, thanks," Kaneki said, taking the container from Banjou, "so I just put these in my room, or…?"

"Yeah, or you can keep them here in this closet until you need them, if you'd like. That bin is yours, and it has your name on it, so nobody else will touch it. Where do you want to keep it?"

"I guess I'll keep it in the closet," Kaneki said unsurely. He wasn't used to being given so many options.

"Okay, great," Banjou took the bin back from Kaneki and slid it back onto its shelf. He closed the doors and started walking down the hallway again, "if you'll follow me, I can show you the rest of the ward now. Over this way on your left is the classroom," he pointed out an open room just a short walk past the receptionist desk that looked almost identical to the break room, except it had a long table and no couch, "you'll be spending mornings here ten minutes after breakfast to create your daily goals and life goals, and learn coping skills."

They walked down the last stretch of the hallway, lined with a few more bedrooms on either side. At the end was another set of double doors. There were two sets of stairs; one leading up, and the other down.

"Up those stairs are the various activity rooms, like music, art, animal therapy, and lots of other cool things. That's also the way to the outside area on the roof where you'll get to have a recess during freetime in the afternoon. It's actually pretty nice up there," Banjou explained, then led Kaneki down the stairs, and on the right was the only doorway. It was another set of double doors. Before opening them, Banjou turned back to Kaneki, "Through here is the cafeteria. Everyone's having dinner right now, so just a forewarning. Whether we go inside now is up to you. If you don't feel comfortable going inside just yet, I can take you back to your room for now."

Kaneki considered this. He stared at the doors for a moment, "... I think I want to go back to my room…"

"Okay, I understand," Banjou replied, not even bothered by Kaneki's reluctance to go inside the cafeteria.

Once they were back in his new room, Banjou lingered in the doorway, "I'm the nurse on duty, but my shift will be ending in three hours or so at nine tonight. Feel free to come get me if you need anything up until then. Otherwise, I'll be leaving you alone for now, alright?"

Kaneki nodded, laying down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully. Banjou left, closing the door as he went and leaving Kaneki to his own devices.

He thought it odd that he was allowed to be in such seclusion like this, but as he gazed around the room and noticed the security camera in the upper corner of the room, he realized why the staff would be so readily okay to close the door. So much for privacy.

There wasn't even a window in the room. The only lighting came from the fluorescent lights overhead, though there wasn't a lightswitch anywhere in sight. That most likely meant that the controls for the lights were elsewhere, somewhere that only the staff of the asylum could find them.

Kaneki took in a deep breath and sighed, "This sucks."

* * *

Before he was even aware he'd fallen asleep, it was morning time. He awoke to the abrupt brightness of his bedroom light flashing on. A few moments later, someone looked inside his room to see if he was up.

"Oh, good, you're awake. It's time for everyone to wake up. Make your bed and do whatever you need to do in the morning. You get fifteen minutes. Let us know if you need anything or want someone to unlock your bathroom door."

With that, the nurse was gone. Kaneki flopped back down on his bed. It was much…  _much_ too early for this bullshit…

But… Fifteen minutes wasn't that long of a time to begin with, and the more he procrastinated, the less time he had for doing other things. So with a resigned groan, he got up from the warm cocoon he'd made of the blanket and made his bed.

He counted his blessings that the security camera was aimed at such a shoddy angle that his bathroom door couldn't be seen from it. That, in his opinion, was the only good thing about the room. That way, no one would figure out that Banjou had left his bathroom unlocked for him. Hell, Banjou probably set things up that way on purpose. He really was a nice guy…

If there was anything Kaneki regretted, it was the fact that he was going to be wearing the same outfit he wore yesterday (granted that he'd only been wearing it for the latter portion of the day, but still the point remained). He sincerely hoped Banjou would make good on that promise of extra clothes, preferably sooner than later.

He was quick with his morning procedures of brushing his teeth and hair, and found himself with eight minutes or so to spare. With nothing better to do, he decided to venture into the break room.

He wasn't very surprised to find that some of the other patients were already in the room. Although, that wasn't to say he was comfortable with it. He was typically shy by nature, and this particular situation was no exception. His eyes darted around the room, searching for a suitable spot to sit. Somewhere that would grant him a meter or so of space from anyone else from any given direction would do nicely.

He eventually settled on a spot on the couch, a corner seat by the large window. Most everybody was gathered near the receptionist desk, so that would give him ample space from the others. Perfect.

Kaneki walked over to his chosen spot, mindful of the watchful eyes that were now on him. He sat down and tried to avoid any and all eye contact, trying to give off  _don't-talk-to-me-I'm-invisible_  vibes.

For a while, it appeared that he was successful in his venture.

Then someone came toward his spot and sat down. Right beside him.

Kaneki stiffened, his back flat against the corner as he drew his legs up to his chest. He warily watched the peculiar guy who'd just sat down beside him out of nowhere.

Black hair, partially shaven head, all pierced and tatted up. Boy, was this guy a sight for sore eyes. Strangest of all was the fact this guy's owlish eyes were black and red, which he wouldn't have found so bizarre if it weren't for the fact they were in an insane asylum and colored contacts were most likely supposed to be confiscated. He wasn't so sure about piercings, but those didn't seem very asylum friendly either now that he was thinking of it.

Tall dark and tatted dude didn't seem like much of a talker. He just sort of stared off into space with those wide eyes of his, not even paying Kaneki any mind.

Kaneki couldn't help but wonder if the only reason he was sitting so close was because by some stroke of (bad) luck, he'd been sitting in the guy's usual spot.

He didn't have very long to dwell on that thought, because a minute or two later, one of the nurses was wheeling in a cart full of paper cups.

"Time for meds," the nurse called out, "come get yours when I say your name."

As it turned out, they didn't have any pills for Kaneki to take. The nurse 'reassured' him that he would be receiving medication as well once they were able to affirm an accurate diagnosis on him, but that for now they didn't want to give him something that could have an adverse side effect. Kaneki just nodded and went along with it, though he didn't really care for pills.

Next, it was breakfast time. After everyone was gathered up and some sort of roll call was done, they were all guided to the cafeteria Kaneki had refrained from entering the previous day. Kaneki kept to the back of the line, several paces behind the rest.

He kept to a spot secluded from everyone else in the far reaches of the cafeteria. Just as Kaneki had suspected, breakfast was bland. A simple bowl of porridge, toast, and orange juice. The mediocre taste didn't really help his already lacking appetite. Nevertheless, he ate some of it, practically flavorless though it was.

Afterward, there was apparently another round of meds for the people who had to take their pills after eating; something Kaneki didn't care for. Then after that was some form of 'class time'. Kaneki vaguely recalled Banjou had mentioned that he'd have to participate in something like this every morning.

It seemed tedious.

A lady who called herself Sen had all the patients take seats around the long table. That included Kaneki. He wasn't all too pleased about being forced to be so close to everyone else. He felt skittish about the whole ordeal. Other people's limbs were far too close to him for his comfort, nearly touching him.

"Ok _ayyy,_  do we have everyone here now?" Sen asked the group as she looked everyone over, then frowning as she looked at an empty seat. "Where's Uta?"

A little girl who couldn't be much older than fourteen raised her hand, speaking in a soft, shy voice, "Uta-san won't be coming. He got put in seclusion again."

"Again? Even before breakfast was over?" Sen whistled to herself in amazement, "Wow, I think that's a new record. Any chance he'll get out before the day's through, you guys think?"

A few people around the table shrugged, others were shaking their heads. This Uta character sounded like he had quite the reputation as a troublemaker. Kaneki found he was a little curious about him.

Suddenly, something occurred to him when he looked around at all the faces around him. Tall dark and tatted guy was missing. Was he Uta?

"Well then! I see we have a new face in the group, Kaneki-kun," Sen said, shaking Kaneki out of his thoughts. She smiled brightly at him, an expression he couldn't decipher to be genuine or not, "so since you're new here, I think we should all do some introductions again. We'll go in a circle and everyone can say their name and say a little bit about yourselves. You can say however much or little you like, it's entirely up to you," she announced, causing Kaneki to internally groan at the prospect, "we'll start with me. As you all know, I'm Takatsuki Sen, and you can just call me Sen. I work here as your teacher full time, and I also write novels in my freetime. Even though I'm not your doctor, you can still confide in me about anything anytime," she then used her elbow to lightly nudge a boy with white hair and circles under his eyes, "... Suzuya?"

Suzuya jerked and looked up from a piece of paper he'd been doodling (scribbling) on with a red crayon, "I'm Suzuya," he said then went back to scribbling.

"Is that all you want to say, Suzuya dear?"

The boy scribbled a little more furiously, "... Uh… I like stitches… and to eat sweet things…"

Sen then looked to a boy next to Suzuya, "Naki?"

Naki was a boy with slicked back blond hair and black circles around his eyes that looked like they'd been drawn on with permanent marker. He was fidgeting around in his seat as if he couldn't sit still. Maybe he couldn't.

"Hi, I'm Naki," Naki said to everyone, "... I got put here for violent tendencies, but I'm getting better."

"Very good, Naki. Touka?" Touka was a girl with black hair that covered one of her eyes. She looked antisocial. "Touka?"

"I'm Touka," she said quietly, "I don't feel like talking about myself."

"That's okay, Touka, you don't have to if you don't want to. We're ready to listen when you do," Sen said, but the only response she received from the nearly unresponsive girl was grunt. "Moving on! Hideyoshi?"

A boy with blond hair. He was also fidgeting around a lot in his seat. The boy looked oddly familiar to Kaneki. Had they met before…?

"Oh, hi! I'm Hideyoshi Nagechika, but you can just call me Hide," the boy said a little too exuberantly, "I'm just here for ADHD and a slight anxiety disorder, it's really, re _allyyy_ small, like this," he held up his hand, making idiotic pinching motions to demonstrate how 'small' his disorder was, "and also, I like hamburger. And sci-fi stories, and mystery stories, and also music, but I had to leave my iPod at home because we're not aloud to have headphones since you could strangle yourself with the cord, but I also really like festivals and my favorite color is-"

"Okay, that's enough, Hide!" Sen interrupted, but oh no, Hide most certainly did not think that was enough. In fact, Hide hadn't even heard Sen speak. He was still talking a mile a minute. Until Touka slapped a hand over his mouth to shut him up, that was. Sen chuckled awkwardly, "Uh, thank you very much, Touka… I think you can let him go now."

Touka grunted, dropping her hands back into her lap. Hide looked a little miffed about being shut up so rudely.

"Is it my turn now?" asked a girl sitting on the other side of Hide. Kaneki recalled her as the one who'd mentioned that Uta was in seclusion.

"Why yes, Hinami, it is. Go right ahead."

The girl timidly waved her hand, "Hello, I'm Hinami. I like reading and cute things, and also Touka one-chan."

If Kaneki squinted, he could see a bit of a blush dusting Touka's cheeks. It was endearing, in a way.

That was about the moment when Kaneki realized it was his turn. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, "Hi everyone, I-I'm Kaneki… I… I… don't want to say anything else…"

He'd considered saying more, but when everyone started staring at him, he lost his nerve.

"Very well, Kaneki-kun, but whenever you're ready to open up, we'll all be glad to listen to you. Isn't that right, everyone?"

Hinami and Hide were eagerly nodding in agreement, and even Touka gave a curt little nod, but most of the others were pretty much indifferent. Not like Kaneki cared though.

He ended up just tuning out the rest of the introductions, as well as the rest of the class session until it was time for the next thing in their schedule. Another break time. They had the choice of going to the break room or their bedrooms if they wanted. Kaneki, being the shy little antisocial boy he was, immediately ran off to his bedroom and flopped down on his bed for the next half hour.

Nothing significant happened for the rest of the day… until their art activity. Turned out, that Uta guy got out of seclusion early, and he was in the art room long before anyone else arrived.

Kaneki wasn't sure whether he should be surprised or not when he saw that Uta was a remarkably good artist. If he was being frank with himself, the guy did exude an artistic aura. When he wasn't exuding a creepy aura anyway.

During this art activity was one of the few times they were permitted to use pencils. From what Kaneki gathered, patients couldn't be trusted with pencils, of all things, without stabbing themselves. Or someone else, as it were.

Kaneki sucked at drawing.

"You really suck at drawing."

… That didn't mean he liked being told as much.

"Says you," he muttered, not even looking behind himself to see who was insulting his (nonexistent) artistic abilities.

"Psh." Whoever it was had walked away.

Kaneki took that moment to look up. The guy looked like someone he hadn't yet met. He resembled Touka a lot. Her… older brother? Although he was mainly drawing the conclusion of him being older from the fact he was taller.

Kaneki frowned back at his drawing. Did it really suck that bad?

And then out of nowhere Uta was sitting in his comfort zone again. Kaneki swore to hell and back that it had to have been magic, because he didn't even hear him coming.

"Ayato's right, you do suck at drawing."

Kaneki dropped his pencil in shock. It took him a few seconds to realize that for the first time, Uta had spoken to him. And it was to insult him. Gre _eeaaat._

"But don't let it get to you. He sucks worse than you do," Uta murmured with a blank expression, using his pencil to shade in the picture he was working on. Those odd red eyes slid toward Kaneki as he fixed him with an unnerving stare, then looked down at his drawing, "Hmm… well, at least it resembles a… giraffe…?"

"It's a dog," Kaneki corrected dejectedly.

"Oop, my bad. At least it resembles a dog. I can see it now," Uta said, acting as if he hadn't just called it a giraffe.

 _Don't blatantly lie with such a blank face._ "So I really do suck then."

Uta snorted, "Eh, most people suck when they start. You've got potential."

"I've been trying to draw for years."

Uta stared at Kaneki emotionlessly, "Well fuck, I just can't please you, can I?"

 _Time to change the subject._  "So what are you drawing?"

"Zombies. They're pretty cool," Uta pointed at his work, reclining a little in his seat to give Kaneki a better view.

"... Yeah, I guess they are…" he replied, although he wasn't so sure he liked zombies so much himself. They were creepy. Then again, so was Uta. So it was fitting that Uta would draw such a thing.

"Want to have it?" and then Uta was handing him the drawing.

Kaneki panicked, "Uh-uhhh… I couldn't possibly take something so personal, I mean, it's your work and all-"

"Okay, I guess you're right, it  _is_  pretty hard for me to part with it… so how about I give you mine, and you give me yours," Uta said, dropping the zombie drawing in Kaneki's lap and snatching up Kaneki's awful doodle.

"B-but… I… whaaa…?"

"See, this way it's a fair trade, since we both put about the same amount of effort into our art. Now you have to cherish that always, or you'll be cursed," Uta told him in that same emotionless tone that honestly was starting to scare Kaneki, but at the same time he was strangely starting to grow accustomed to as simply a part of Uta. Uta then stared down at Kaneki's drawing in his hands, "Hmmm… it needs one more thing though."

Kaneki raised an eyebrow in question.

"A signature," he put the drawing back on the table, slapping his hand on the table a couple times, "put one. Chop chop."

Exasperated though he was, Kaneki did as Uta demanded. The moment he'd picked the pencil but a centimeter off the page when he was done, Uta snatched the page back up, out of Kaneki's reach.

Examining the new addition, Uta's lips twitched upward ever so slightly, "Mm… pretty handwriting. This is mine now. I'm going to keep it forever."

Saying goodbye to Kaneki, Uta went off and left the art room with a nurse that appeared to have been waiting for him. A few moments later, another nurse came in and announced that art time was over, and that it would soon be time for dinner. They were getting more free time to do as they pleased until actual dinnertime.

The asylum nurses really liked to keep them busy. Kaneki found it to be very exhausting. He wanted nothing more than to sleep all day by this point.

"I can't believe Uta actually spoke to you!"

Kaneki flinched before turning around. It was Hide who'd made the exclamation, obviously talking to Kaneki.

"Sorry if I scared you," Hide apologized with a reassuring smile, "it's just that I've never seen Uta talk to someone before. Like I haven't been here long, but I've been here a few months and that guy  _never_ talks. To anyone.  _Ever_."

This piqued Kaneki's interest, "Really?"

"Yeah, really! Would I lie to you?"

Kaneki resisted the urge to inform Hide that this was his first day in Anteiku and that he hardly knew Hide, therefore he had no idea whether he'd lie to him or not. He seemed like a nice, earnest guy.

"I guess not," Kaneki said. "Say, do you know anything else about Uta?"

"Afraid not. That guy's basically a mystery to everyone here. I'm not sure that even the doctors know what landed him here."

That was odd. But not necessarily unheard of. The doctors didn't know a lot about Kaneki, either. It was unlike Kaneki to be so snoopy, but something about Uta's mysteriousness was catching his fancy.

He wanted to know more about Uta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it?
> 
> Reviews appreciated, both positive and negative. I like to hear where I can improve.


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